A quilt for May

I have just finished this lap quilt for my Mother-in-law May.  After her stroke before Christmas, she has made a remarkable recovery and is home being cared for full time by her husband of over fifty years.  He is an inspiration as their lives are altered beyond comparison.
May spends most of her day sitting in their back room which can be quite cold.  I made this quilt for her to put over her knees.  It is a two-sided quilt - one that is bright and cheerful - the fabrics begged to be made how it has turned out - I had no plan - it just happened, while I made the other side more mellow and muted, so she can decide whether she needs cheering or soothing.
I have made a number of quilts recently for babies, so it was fun to make one for a person of more mature years.  It is soft and snuggly and hopefully will keep her warm.
I gave this quilt to May last weekend and she looked thrilled to receive it.  Communicating is not easy for her, but there were many smiles - Alan, her husband told us that she had rarely smiled during the previous week.  I machine pieced the front and back and hand quilted it using an embroidery cotton.  I love this range of fabrics and two other projects designed using them.

Truth by Peter Temple

Two nights ago I finished reading Peter Temple's latest book Truth.  To be perfectly honest, I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached its final page.  Peter Temple is an earthy writer and I felt like I had spent  my reading time in the gutter in Melbourne - it depicts the darkness of our world that I sometimes try to pretend does not exist - but exist it does and this book confronts the reader with its reality in all its shades of blackness and evilness.
This morning I awoke to the news that this book has won this years Miles Franklin Award.  Am I surprised?  I haven't read any of the other books that were shortlisted but it is rare for a crime writer to be awarded such a prestigious writing award.  One of the criteria for the judging is that the book "must present Australian life in its many phases".    This book certainly does this.  It is just not a pleasant phase to read about.
Most of us will have watched Underbelly on television and read reports in the media about the criminal under life of Melbourne.  We have also watched the recent bushfires and its impact on the surrounds of this city.  Peter Temple combines these two themes into his book - it is summer, hot, smoky, smelly and we are confronted with the death of a young woman, closely followed by a gangland torture killing.  Steve Villani, the head of the Homicide squad is set to investigate both these crimes, but is strongly warned off investigating the death of the woman.  This does not stop him or his team.  As the story unfolds, we find out about Villani's childhood, his family life, his disintegrated marriage, his daughter Lizzy and her drug problems, as well as the corruption in the government, police department and the lives of the rich and wealthy.
Temple is understated in his writing, and uses words sparingly and well.  Despite the lack of flowery descriptive language, I can smell the fire, feel the relentless heat and see the world that he describes - quite remarkable.  The theme of truth unites all the different stories into one complete story - Villani is determined to find out the truth about what really happened to the girl who died who bears an uncanny resemblance to his daughter Lizzy.  He is also confronted with facing the truths about his own life - how his father feels about him, his past and why his marriage is over, also what sort of father has he been to his own children?
There is wonderful description in the book of a forest that Villani and his father planted years ago - it is the only place of beauty and sanctuary to exist in the entire book.  Even it is threatened by the fire - but miraculously survives: "Scorched, the outer trees singed.  They would lose some.  But everywhere, in their circles and clumps and paths, the oaks were in full glorious summer green leaf."  This single sentence could easily be missed, but indicates to me, the reader that truth will prevail - it survives - as does Villani.
This morning I read Psalm 52, and in a way, this book is almost a modern day tale with a similar theme.  In this world, there are those who love evil, who store up much wealth, and who love falsehood rather than speaking the truth, those who trust in their own wealth and grow strong by destroying others.    David ends this Psalm:

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever.  I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good.  I will praise you in the presence of your saints."  v8-9

There is an encouragement in the book, that the evil will one day be laid bare and shown for what they really are.  Truth does survive all. The challenge is to continue to put my trust and energy in the things of God - they will stand and survive.
If you love a good crime thriller, you will want to read this one.  Henning Mankell writes similarly about life in Sweden.  It is almost easier to read books like this that are set in another country.  Sadly, there is no Commissario Brunetti, who is the main character in all of Donna Leon's books, who writes about similar themes, she manages to sooth her readers with the wonderful descriptions of his home life and the food he eats and his little visits to coffee shops.  There is none of that in Truth - it is relentless and harrowing.

Priorities of a wise Mum 10

Couple with seven children in front of their cottage with bark roof, Hill End, 1871-1875 / American & Australasian Photographic Company, originally uploaded by State Library of New South Wales collection.


I don't have seven children and I certainly don't live in a home that resembles this.  Imagine doing all of life in a space like this - with seven children!  Especially when the weather is wet day after day - it makes me understand where the expression "cabin fever" might have derived its meaning.
Last night I was listening to two women speak about their lives overseas.  One lives in Paris, the other in Florence and both have four children.  How does that sound?  Wouldn't their lives be wonderful living in such culturally rich places?  What a difference to the above photo where this Mum lived in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by mud.  However, both these women have lived in very small apartments and the weather for most of the year in that part of the world is cold and wet.  I am sure they both regularly experience cabin fever.  Both women shared how in the midst of wet weather, they would dress their children up in wet and warm weather gear and get out to let off steam.
I remember a holiday from years ago when I was a child, we were at a beach house, us and another family and we had had a week of cold,wet weather.  One morning after breakfast, my mother told us to dress in our swimmers, with rain jackets and go to the beach and entertain ourselves.  She didn't want to see us again until lunch time.  Cabin fever.  She had probably had enough of scritching and scratching, and noisy children.  It is only now, years later that I finally understand her behaviour.

One of my favourite childrens picture books is called Five Minutes Peace by Jill Murphy.  It is about the Large family, and Mrs Larges attempt to find five minutes peace from her children, by shutting herself in the bathroom and having a hot bath.  Her peace lasts for three minutes and forty five seconds.
A wise Mum understands the reality of cabin fever and has developed strategies to cope when cabin fever hits.  I liked what my friends from Europe did - they headed outdoors to allow their children to let off steam.  I am sure this was my Mother's intention all those years ago.  Having lived most of my life with small children in smallish inner city houses, this was one of my coping strategies - we had a dose of the park - daily.
Last week I spent the morning with a group of young Mums from my church - they meet every week for bible study and prayer and general support.  Most of them looked tired - a couple had faced a major tantrum with their child before breakfast, some had tiny babies and had been woken during the night for feeding, several were fighting colds while for others, it had been an effort to get there at all.  On reflection, I think some of these women have cabin fever and need five minutes peace from life.
This is where good friends can be balm - letting a friend or relative look after your children so that you can have a break and collect your thoughts, your brain, your energy, your self-respect and integrity.  If you feel slightly feverish and cooped up, can I encourage you to ask someone for help -  if they could look after your children, even for an hour, just so you can have some space.
Getting out and time out are helpful, however, there is another coping strategy that we are good at forgetting.
For the last ten days I have been immersing myself in Psalm 62 and soaking the riches its words contain.  It is a beautiful Psalm, filled with the image that our God is a rock, a fortress, our salvation, our hope and our refuge.  Reading it, I get the sense that David, who wrote the Psalm is almost reminding himself that his soul can find rest in God.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation;  he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  My salvation and my honour depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.  Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.  Psalm 62:5-8

I love the idea that we can pour our hearts out to God - any time and that He is there as a refuge.  When cabin fever hits - we can take refuge by turning to God and telling him how we feel - He will cope with this.  Even finding a space on your own, open your bible and reading this Psalm and praying will help you survive cabin fever.  Try it.

Priorities of a wise Mum 9

caterpillar to butterfly by jungle mama.  Photo found on flickr.
What an exquisite photo!  I have always loved butterflies.  I love the life cycle of the butterfly, which is one reason why I adore the story of the very hungry caterpillar by Eric Carle.  This rather dull and tiny caterpillar pops out of an egg and  begins to eat and eat and eat until he becomes one very fat caterpillar.  After putting himself into a cocoon he emerges completely transformed into a beautiful butterfly.  I remember becoming a Christian and feeling a bit like that caterpillar - I emerged a new and unique creature.  It was a miracle of sorts - just as every time a butterfly emerges from that cocoon - it is a reminder of the beginnings of new life.  Life as a butterfly...life as a Christian...how do we continue living life as if we are that beautiful butterfly?

...since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." Colossians 3:9-10

Isn't that new self a beautiful creature in contrast to the old?  How is it possible to develop and cultivate this new self?  A wise Mum, indeed any wise Christian woman will know that this is a good thing to work on.  And yet, Mums with babies and small children will probably struggle with this. Most of the time we don't feel like a butterfly, let alone a beautiful butterfly.
Are you familiar with the story of Mary and Martha.  For years, I identified strongly with Martha.  Why did Mary get commended?  It was Martha who was bustling around getting food ready, cleaning up and  doing the chores while Mary simply sat.  But she wasn't simply sitting, she was seated at the feet of her Lord - Jesus - and she listened to his words.  Jesus simply told Martha that Mary "had chosen what was better." (Luke 10:38-42).
Good, better, best.  In life we will often have to make choices on how we spend our time and a wise Mum knows the value of turning towards Jesus and doing this regularly day after day - not just when she feels inclined.
After children arrive, it is hard to have long uninterrupted blocks of time to read the bible, listen to a sermon on an ipod or spend time praying.  We can set the bar too high and in the process we turn away from our Lord.  It is easy to fill our day with distractions.  There is always something that needs doing, seeing to, fixing or just our time and energy.
Some practical suggestions:

• Think about your daily routine and work out a time that might be a "doable" time.  Are you an early morning person?  Are you a night owl?  What are your children's routines?  Do they have a sleep or rest time?  Decide on a time and see if you can commit to it each week day.  Start with just 5-10 minutes - even five minutes most week days is better than no minutes a day.  If we are women who regularly set time aside to be with our Lord - God will use His word to change us and make us more Christlike.  God uses His word to nourish our souls and to feed our hearts and minds.  If we don't read it, we will gradually starve and stop looking like that butterfly. If this seems all too hard, don't berate yourself or be too hard on yourself.  Sometimes life can be hard and just to get through each day is enough.  However, it is something that is of immense help and encouragement if and when it happens.

• Don't give up the habit of meeting with God's people.  With small children and busy lives, it is tempting to use Sunday morning as the catch up morning to sleep in, to be slow and to have five minutes peace.  Or, do you belong to a bible study group?  Don't stop going.  Don't let children's sleep routines distract from time with God's people, listening to His word being read and spoken about, spending time with His people praying for each other and encouraging each other.  I love this exhortation:

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching."  Hebrews 10:24-25 

Good, better and best.  We will constantly have to choose how to spend our time. Don't you want to keep being like that butterfly?