The Doorbell Rang

This book was a great favourite of mine when my children were small.  It is quirky. Imagine the excitement of two children being given a plate filled with freshly baked choc chip cookies, and working out they can have six each, only to have to share them with others?   Each time the doorbell rings, the number of cookies they can each have diminishes.   But the doorbell keeps ringing and that clean kitchen floor gets muddier and muddier.
My children are much older, but our doorbell rings - often.  Sometimes I come home never quite knowing who will be there.  I rarely have choc chip cookies around, or muffins, or anything much, but the kettle is often put on and a cup of tea is made and shared.  Susannah makes the best choc chip cookies in our family and we all enjoy them when she has baked.
There is a sense of chaos in this domestic scene which resonates with the domestic chaos I regularly find in my home - bags left on the floor, a pile of shoes by the door, piles of mugs, glasses and plates beside the kitchen sink, a freshly washed kitchen floor no longer quite so sparkly clean.
How can I complain?  Didn't I teach my children about generosity, sharing and hospitality?  Isn't this a book we read again and again?  I now watch them welcome their friends and neighbours into our home filling it will laughter, noise and chaos and still the doorbell rings and I am glad.

Priorities of a wise Mum 1

Florence Austral at home, Newcastle, NSW, 10 March 1953 / Sam Hood, originally uploaded by State Library of New South Wales collection.
I love this photo from the State Library of NSW - I have no idea whether Florence Austral was a mother as well as being a famous singer, but this photo depicts a thoroughly domestic scene - she is making marmalade and behind her is her teapot and cups and saucers.  I have not made marmalade that often, but when I do, I look flustered and dishevelled and my entire kitchen would look like a bomb had hit it.
A number of years ago, I was asked to speak to a group of Mums on the topic "priorities of a wise Mum".  I was searching through my black hole of a filing cabinet looking for something else and found it buried amongst some other papers.  I know that some of you who read this blog are Mums and have found previous posts helpful, so I thought I would share this talk with you over the next few weeks.  I like thinking about things slowly and mull them around in my head - so I will share a new bit every week, to give you a chance to reflect on it.
Before you became a Mum, what did you think or imagine you would be like as a mother.  Were there qualities you thought you would like to have or things you imagined yourself doing?  
Before I became a Mum, I imagined that I would be a calm and serene mother.  I thought that I would be a perfect mother in every way - have wonderful relationships with my children, that I would have perfect children, that I would have a perfect marriage.  I didn't think I would be working in paid employment.  I imagined that each day I would cook choc chip cookies or blueberry muffins and my children would come home from school to the aroma of these freshly baked goodies and we would sit around the table and chat peacefully about our day.
This picture couldn't be further from the reality of my life if I tried.  I discovered that I am a far from perfect mother, I have far from perfect children and my marriage is certainly not perfect.  Most days, I could tell myself that I am a complete failure.
On reaching this dismal realisation, I started to ask the question - what does God expect of me as a Mum, as a Christian Mum?  Each of you could ask the same question.  What does God expect or demand of you as mothers - as Christian mothers?  
After much thought, I came up with a few ideas of what could characterise or lives as Christian mothers.

1. A wise Mum trusts in God

It is so easy to be anxious about our children.  We can fill our minds with much fret - will they succeed academically?  with they be liked by others and make friends?  Will they hold onto the Christian faith?  Will they develop qualities of gentleness, kindness and goodness?  Will they go to sleep tonight and stay asleep and not awaken with a bad dream?  Will they ever stop driving me crazy?  Can we trust God with all these anxious thoughts?
A wise Mum is able to silence these silence these anxious thoughts. and have a deep firm trust in her God.  She reminds herself constantly that God is sovereign and totally trustworthy.  

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6

The wise woman trusts God.  We have a wonderful picture of a wise woman in the book of Proverbs.  Most of you will be familiar with the Proverbs 31 woman.  This woman is a wife and a mother.  She is the epitome of a wise woman.  The quality she is most praised for is that she is a woman who "fears the Lord".  Why does she fear Him?  Because she knows that He is the sovereign God and completely in control of all that happens in life.  She lives her life as if this is a reality.

 A prayer:

 Loving heavenly Father, thank you for the privilege of being a mother.  Thank you for my children.  I want to thank you that you are my sovereign God and that you are totally trustworthy - I can entrust my children to your tender and loving care.  There are so many things that I want to fix and control, but I can't.  I commit my heart to you and ask that you will help me be a Mum who simply trusts you. Thank you that you are always with me, and that you are always with my children.  Even when I feel like I have nothing to give my children, I know that you are the strength of my heart and my portion forever - I cast myself into your hands, knowing that you are holding me by my right hand and that you guide me with your counsel and that afterwards you will take me into glory.  Amen.  (from Psalm 73:23-26.)

Numbering our days - revisited

Last week I had a conversation with Michael in which I was telling him about seeing one of his old school friends who has just turned 21.  She had lamented to me that she was getting old and that in "just nine years she would be turning 30!"  Michael responded to this by telling me that each day he thinks he is one day closer to heaven and that he embraces growing older quite happily, with this reality set before him.
Yes, he had just been to a funeral for the father of a dear friend and yes, the reality of death was in his face, but I was struck by his mindset.
Is that how I think at the end of each day?  - "I am one day closer to heaven?"  Does this reality permeate to the core of my being?  It certainly permeated Richard Baxter's life, his thoughts and his speech.  He spent the second half of his life preparing for his death and he had a long wait, but he meditated upon the splendours awaiting him in heaven daily.
A few years ago, I wrote a devotion on "numbering our days" and I revisited it.  I wrote it after my health scare and I have to admit I did much soul searching.
It is challenging to think again about how I fill my days - there are many distractions and I easily get caught up in the details of life that in the scale of things really don't matter.  I have returned to this verse and my prayer - it was a timely conversation.  Thanks Michael!

Celebrating One Hundred years at the State Library

Mitchell Library, opening ceremony, 8th March, 1910, by unknown photographer, originally uploaded by State Library of New South Wales collection.


Today I attended an afternoon tea and preview of our One Hundred exhibition, which opens tonight in honour of our one hundredth birthday.   It looked rather different to the above picture - I didn't see any hats, or suits even, but it was equally auspicious.  Tonight there is a proper gala dinner.  
The exhibition is worth viewing.  One hundred items from our collection have been chosen for display for one hundred days.  It is a somewhat eclectic collection of items and each one tells a unique story.
A few of my favourites include:

•  the draft for Ethel Turner's Seven Little Australians, a book I adored as a child and read again and again.  I still remember my teacher reading it to our class in primary school and being so enthralled that I had to get it out of the library to reach the end - I just couldn't wait.;
•  Miles Franklin's waratah cup and saucer and her letters to Angus and Robertson - how well I remember reading My Brilliant Career;
• A chinese porcelain punchbowl featuring a scene of Sydney Cove - it is exquisite - I had only seen pictures of it, but in real life is beautiful;
• Kate Grenville's draft manuscript for The Secret River;
• Joseph Banks journal that he kept on board the Endeavour
• A years worth of junk mail that arrived in a family's mailbox - there was rather a lot! 

The exhibition has been beautifully displayed and is inspiring.  I would encourage you to take the time to visit the State Library and celebrate its centenary and browse this exhibition.  This coming Saturday there is an Open Day at the library called Check Out the Library - it sounds like fun for young and old.  I will be there this Saturday and am hoping some of my family join me.

Paul Assef

Little did I imagine that barely an hour after I wrote my last post, this giant of a man would die - snap - just like that!
Paul was a man who loved God and lived his life dedicated to serving His God with a big big heart. He was loved by many - his wife, his children, his mother, his sisters and their families, his friends and so many more....
I was on the edge of Paul's life, but whenever I met him, he greeted me as if I was his best friend.  He was so warm, welcoming and gregarious.  He embraced life to the fulness and drew others with him.
Paul's eldest daughter Jess married Simon a year ago amidst much joy and celebration.  This is a photo I took at their wedding and it captures Paul looking with pride at the new couple.  I was Jess' age when I married and a year later my father died, so it seems like I am watching a replay of my own life before my very eyes.
In the hours after his death, I cried out "why?"  and the following day after Paul's death, my devotional book focused on Deuteronomy 29:29 - "The secret things belong to the Lord our God"... I was patiently reminded me that I am not God, and that there is much in life that seems unfathomable and illogical.  A better question to ask perhaps is "do I still trust in God's goodness and believe that He is a great God?"
I have returned to Psalm 121 in the days since and lifted my eyes to the hills - to the Lord - who is there watching me and watching Paul's family and friends as they face life without this man.  There is nothing in life that prepares us for times when tragedies such as this take place, except for knowing that the unexpected can and will happen and usually when we least expect it.  And when it happens to lift our eyes heavenwards.
Two of my children travelled to Moree to attend his funeral.  They are sad.  Their uni friends are sad - they knew and loved Paul deeply and were impressed with how he lived his life.  Paul's children are returning to Sydney soon, as has his sister Rhonda and her husband Phil and their children.  All I can do is walk with each of them through this time of deep deep sadness and grief, and I can pray.
On the day my father died, I received a letter in the mail written by my friend Melinda who lived in the United States.  She had posted it two weeks earlier.  She wrote out Psalm 91:

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.'....
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.....
If you make the Most High your dwelling -
even the Lord, who is my refuge -
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
Because he loves me, says the Lord,
I will rescue him;
I will protect him,
for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honour him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."  Psalm 91

My father had not been able to speak much in the final days of his life, but these verses spoke to me and reassured me that my Dad had called upon the Lord in his final hours of life.  I spoke with Dan, Paul's son last week and he told me that knowing that his Dad was in heaven helped him enormously.  This conversation took me back to those early days when I was numb with shock and overcome with grief and reminded me that this truth also carried me.  I look back now and know that the Lord used His angels to carry me through this time that nothing had prepared me to face.  I am praying that those angels will be with Paul's family as they resume life.
The jigsaw of their life has one huge piece missing which will never be replaced.  They will learn to live without him, but there will be daily, constant reminders of him - his laughter, his joy, his protectiveness, his clutter, his love, his smell, his voice, his smile and his touch.

Psalm 121

Psalm 121, originally uploaded by sarahkeithcondie.

I have enjoyed reading the latest edition of Eternity - a national newsletter for Australian Christians.  I found a number of the articles to be encouraging.  There is a section on how to pray and much to my excitement, I saw my sister-in-law Julie's face with my nephew JJ.  Julie  shares her prayer life with readers.  It is inspiring to read, as we have watched her and her husband deal with their life from close quarters.  Sometimes, life looks like it sucks and there have been times when we have looked at the circumstances in Phil and Julie's life and wept with them and prayed fervently for them.  They don't live in Sydney, so it is not easy to help from a distance.

Julie's story, as have the other stories reminded me of the power and importance of prayer - by praying, we are showing God that we trust him.  Julie's deep trust in God has inspired me over many years and perhaps more so in recent times.  She asked me the other night if I could make her a card with a picture of a hill with Psalm 121 as its text.  This is the result.  It is her favourite Psalm and it has fed her immensely in recent weeks.

I had to learn Psalm 121 by heart when I was in primary school, so I have carried the words of this beautiful Psalm with me for many years.  My Mum chose it as the reading at my Dad's funeral back in 1982, and since then, I have not looked at it much or reflected on its words - it has had other painful memories for me.  However, I have spent the last day doing just that.  

How awesome to be reminded that our God watches us constantly - he doesn't take a pit stop or a holiday or even a five minute power nap.  Day and night, he remains at our right hand.  There is a deep comfort in being reminded we are not alone when we face circumstances that test us to the core.  Our God is the maker of the heavens and the earth - surely he can enable us to face what comes.  We just need to do what Julie does - lift our eyes to the hills - as help is at hand.

My first bag!

I like making things and I have long wanted to make a bag.  I love bags and have a eclectic assortment hanging on door handles around the house. This is my first attempt and I have given it to my Mum for her birthday.  I used leftover scraps from the quilt I made for my aunt and it was fun working out what I would put where.  Each side is different.

Mum does quite a lot of painting and I thought she could use this bag for putting all her art stuff in.  However, she has other ideas for its use and has it hanging over her staircase bannister - the colours blend with the environment of her home and it looks rather lovely.

It took much longer to make than I had anticipated and I managed to break two needles during its construction.  However, I learnt heaps from putting it together and know how to do it better next time.

I always think that I will "whip" something up quickly, but the whip turns into a long slow fiddle.  I spent some of those really humid days working on this - I wouldn't recommend it - but I was determined to get it completed in time for Mum's birthday.