Priorities of a wise Mum 8

Happy Couple, originally uploaded by Just Us 3.
This is a favourite photo of mine.  If you follow the link,  you can read the story about this couple.  They call each other Dear and Honey.  They have clearly been together a long time and enjoy sharing their lives with each other.  This photo captures something beautiful about a marriage that is happy and connected.  A wise Mum recognises that her marriage is a central relationship in her life.  You won't just drift into a happy marriage.  Your children will not grow up, leave home for you to then have a deeply fulfilling and happy marriage.  If you are not investing in your marriage now, it won't be there when you reach a new season in your life.
A couple who are not emotionally connected are a couple who are unhappy and lonely.  It is quite possible to hide the extent to which the hurt and disappointment you are feeling is impacting you both,  and it can be quite a surprise to friends and church communities when a relationship breaks down.  It does not have to be that way and it does not involve making gigantic steps that seem like hard work.
The best gift you can give your children is a good marriage.  It is the best gift you can give your church community and the best gift you can give to our broader community.  When a marriage breaks down, lots of people suffer and there will be a ripple effect that continues to impact the lives of others.
If you are reading this and have three children under the age of five, this will probably be one of the most challenging times in your marriage.  It is hard work!  I remember being told this at a marriage workshop, as I sat knitting, heavily pregnant with my third child.  I heard it and then experienced it first hand.
It will usually be the wife who recognises warning signs that all is not going well in a marriage.  If you feel like there are some cracks, you can do something about it - seek the counsel of an older woman who you trust as a start - don't leave it too late or hope that magically, things will improve on their own - they won't.  Often the first step to rebuilding emotional connection is admitting that things could be better and making a decision to do something about it.
If this is not your experience, give thanks to God and continue to nurture your relationship with your husband - invest by setting aside "couple time", have fun together and show appreciation for each other.  If you love your children, invest in your marriage.
Last night in bible study, we looked at this passage from the book of Hebrews:

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."  Hebrews 4:14-16

This passage follows an earlier verse about how God sees into the very core of our beings - that everything is uncovered and laid bare before Him.  When things are not good, it is tempting to want to hide away with shame.  These verses are a strong exhortation to each of us to approach the throne of grace - at any time when we are in need.  My prayer for each of you who read this, is that you will not only hold firmly to your faith, but will also ask for help in facing your hurts, disappointments and vulnerabilities.