A calm and quieted soul

Last week I listened to my husband speaking to a group of women.  He used an apt illustration that has stayed with me.  He talked about life being a bit like living in a banana tree filled with monkeys trying to eat the bananas. We face countless distractions and demands from those different monkeys and at times it can be chaotic and unsettling.  Whether it is babies, small children, work, busyness, a long “to do list” that never gets completed, exams, study, noise…. I am in that banana tree and it is pretty turbulent and exhausting.

Is it possible with all the clamour, noise and chaos to have a calm and quieted soul? 

Psalm 131, a Psalm written by David describes how to zone out to the monkeys in our tree and sit quietly on a branch and draw breath.

¹ LORD, my heart is not proud;

    my eyes are not haughty.

    I do not get involved with things

    too great or too difficult for me.

    ² Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself
   

   like a little weaned child with its mother;
   

   I am like a little child.

    ³ Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
   

   both now and forever.

In this Psalm, David is not noisy inside.  We have a picture of a quiet, calm man.  This is not the experience of David during his whole life – we all know he had failings – adultery and murder come to mind, but this is a picture of the inner soul of David at a particular time in his life.  

This Psalm also points us to Jesus.  This stillness was true of Jesus’ life – this Psalm gives us a picture of God who became man thinking out loud for us.  He speaks of the stillness of the soul of those who walk closely with God.

David had much to be proud of – he was King, handsome, intelligent, and musical and was clearly adored by his family and those who knew him.  Despite these very qualities, he put them aside to have a heart not proud.  Nor did David look down on those around him.  Sometimes we have such a longing to feel recognized and appreciated that this can often be the only way of achieving this – by looking down on others.  David has learnt not to have a proud heart or haughty eyes. 

Does it matter what our house looks like?  Whether one of our children has a very public tantrum or we perform perfectly in our studies and workplace?  Sometimes these very things are the monkey’s vying for our attention and we become so preoccupied in making ourselves look good that we stress ourselves out completely and feel rattled and unsettled – our self expectations, usually high are the undoing of us.

David has also freed himself from trying to make sense of his world.  There is much that happens in my life, and in the lives of those around me that makes little or no sense.  Sometimes I try and make things better for myself or others, and again, I get overwhelmed, as it is never enough.  There is a challenge to be like David, and simply say “I do not get involved with things too great or too difficult for me”, because it does not help me.  David knows he is not God.  I Sarah Condie, am not God – nor are you.  It is only God who sees life in all its fullness. 

David has a soul that is at peace.  He is quiet inside.  It didn’t come spontaneously.  He learned how to do it.  There is a beautiful picture painted for us of a weaned child sitting on its mother’s lap – this is a picture of a soul at rest.  A weaned child is no longer breastfed.  If a hungry breastfed baby is put in its mother’s lap, it is wriggly and irritable until it is fed.  This same child, once weaned will sit on its mother’s lap, quietly and at peace.

David challenges his readers to put their hope and trust in the Lord.  This is what will free them from their inner restlessness.   Sit quietly in your banana tree, even for five minutes and focus on the Lord and you will find rest for your souls. 

Prayer:  Lord, please give me a calm and quiet soul.  I am positively giddy with trying to stay on my banana tree – there is much to distract, dismay, disappoint and hurt me.  I ask that I can be like that weaned child and sit still.  Please remove the distracting restlessness from me.  Help me to feed on your word and be encouraged to remember to put my hope in you – both today and tomorrow.  Amen.

Numbering our days - revisited

Last week I had a conversation with Michael in which I was telling him about seeing one of his old school friends who has just turned 21.  She had lamented to me that she was getting old and that in "just nine years she would be turning 30!"  Michael responded to this by telling me that each day he thinks he is one day closer to heaven and that he embraces growing older quite happily, with this reality set before him.
Yes, he had just been to a funeral for the father of a dear friend and yes, the reality of death was in his face, but I was struck by his mindset.
Is that how I think at the end of each day?  - "I am one day closer to heaven?"  Does this reality permeate to the core of my being?  It certainly permeated Richard Baxter's life, his thoughts and his speech.  He spent the second half of his life preparing for his death and he had a long wait, but he meditated upon the splendours awaiting him in heaven daily.
A few years ago, I wrote a devotion on "numbering our days" and I revisited it.  I wrote it after my health scare and I have to admit I did much soul searching.
It is challenging to think again about how I fill my days - there are many distractions and I easily get caught up in the details of life that in the scale of things really don't matter.  I have returned to this verse and my prayer - it was a timely conversation.  Thanks Michael!

Psalm 121

Psalm 121, originally uploaded by sarahkeithcondie.

I have enjoyed reading the latest edition of Eternity - a national newsletter for Australian Christians.  I found a number of the articles to be encouraging.  There is a section on how to pray and much to my excitement, I saw my sister-in-law Julie's face with my nephew JJ.  Julie  shares her prayer life with readers.  It is inspiring to read, as we have watched her and her husband deal with their life from close quarters.  Sometimes, life looks like it sucks and there have been times when we have looked at the circumstances in Phil and Julie's life and wept with them and prayed fervently for them.  They don't live in Sydney, so it is not easy to help from a distance.

Julie's story, as have the other stories reminded me of the power and importance of prayer - by praying, we are showing God that we trust him.  Julie's deep trust in God has inspired me over many years and perhaps more so in recent times.  She asked me the other night if I could make her a card with a picture of a hill with Psalm 121 as its text.  This is the result.  It is her favourite Psalm and it has fed her immensely in recent weeks.

I had to learn Psalm 121 by heart when I was in primary school, so I have carried the words of this beautiful Psalm with me for many years.  My Mum chose it as the reading at my Dad's funeral back in 1982, and since then, I have not looked at it much or reflected on its words - it has had other painful memories for me.  However, I have spent the last day doing just that.  

How awesome to be reminded that our God watches us constantly - he doesn't take a pit stop or a holiday or even a five minute power nap.  Day and night, he remains at our right hand.  There is a deep comfort in being reminded we are not alone when we face circumstances that test us to the core.  Our God is the maker of the heavens and the earth - surely he can enable us to face what comes.  We just need to do what Julie does - lift our eyes to the hills - as help is at hand.

Delighting in the Lord - 1

I have spent much time pondering and meditating on what delighting in the Lord looks like. I read Psalm 37 on New Year's Eve last year and was struck by this verse: "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." ( 4). I have given two talks on this topic and in my devotions have returned to Psalm 37 again and again. I have not had an easy year healthwise, and at times I wondered if God had a sense of humour in challenging me to think about this topic in the midst of a foggy and dysfunctional head. However, I have found that God has continually reminded me to delight in Him and it has really helped me survive.

For my birthday a dear neighbour gave me the book "Bible Delight" by Christopher Ash. It looks at Psalm 119 in 22 bite sized pieces with a couple of questions at the end of each section. I have enjoyed reading this book enormously and my understanding of delighting in the Lord has been enriched.

This morning I was looking at section 10 - verses 73-80:

73 Your hands made me and formed me;
give me understanding to learn your commands.
74 May those who fear you rejoice when they see me,
for I have put my hope in your word.
75 I know, O LORD, that your laws are righteous,
and in faithfulness you have afflicted me.
76 May your unfailing love be my comfort,
according to your promise to your servant.
77 Let your compassion come to me that I may live,
for your law is my delight.
78 May the arrogant be put to shame for wronging me without cause;
but I will meditate on your precepts.
79 May those who fear you turn to me,
those who understand your statutes.
80 May my heart be blameless toward your decrees,
that I may not be put to shame.

This section and the last one have been about the place of affliction in the Christian life. These verses suggest that God uses times of great difficulty to develop our faith and trust in God and that God uses these times for good - often to help us develop our Christian character. This year I have learnt about delight and appreciating the good things in life - of which there are many, to take the time to savour small moments such as the jacarandas in flower or the smell of a rose in our garden.

I have also been thinking about my bible study group. What a wonderful group of Christian women. During the year, we took it in turns to share about a time of difficulty in our lives and what God taught us through it. I found out so much about these women, but more than this, I was enormously encouraged by seeing how they have persevered - I rejoice in them and from their stories I have gained much encouragement to persevere myself - because they have!

God is our Refuge

Sarah's Postcards, originally uploaded by sarahkeithcondie.

I shared these verses with Susannah this morning. She is in the midst of her HSC trials and was unable to sit her french exam yesterday as she was too sick. She will sit it tomorrow. Today she is feeling much better.

It is my prayer that she continues to trust our great God.

Numbering Our Days

faceoff, originally uploaded by solecism.

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

A dear friend shared this verse with me soon after I had my mild stroke. It challenged me to think hard. After reading this verse again and again, thinking, pondering and reflection, and talking to friends, I wrote this devotion:

How do you fill your days? How do you see time - each hour, day, week, year - as units to fill endlessly? Do you have plans, hopes or dreams of what you will do with your life? Is your diary filled with future events? Moses was a man who wanted to reach the Promised Land, but at the end of his life, he realised he had spent all his days working towards a goal that would not be achieved in his lifetime. he was confronted with hs mortality.

I was recently confronted with my own mortality after suffering a mild stroke. My life was filled to the brim with lots of good stuff. Domestic chores happened in the few cracks of space. My days were filled as if I were some invincible goddess with time to live life exactly as she chose. But I am no goddess and I am certainly not immortal. If we number our days, we accept that the time we've been given is a gift. Living as if today were our last day, we'd treasure it and think carefully about filling it - about fulfilling our responsibilities, such as being loving in the important relationships in our lives. We wouldn't presume to be in control of our future (see James 4:13-16). Yet in the midst of this uncertainty, we can still live each day confidently and at peace, trusting in the goodness of God that he will provide, sustain, love and not abandon. We would also hold confidently to the great hope of an eternal destiny.

Each day is God's - if we have wise hearts we will cherish each day as a uniqe opportunity to live as if we truly do fear our God. I am thankful to God for the opportunity to think about how I fill my days.

Prayer: "Loving Father, in the midst of my busy life, please help me to number my days. Help me to remember my mortality and that eternity with you is a reality. Thank you for today and each day of my life to come - they are yours - please help me to fill them wisely. I give you my diary, my plans, hopes and dreams - may you give me a wise heart as I fill my days." Amen.

It is still a challenge to think about how I fill my days.

He Restores my Soul

Fifteen months ago, I had a mild stroke which changed the nature of my life significantly. One aspect that changed was my ability to read the bible. I was on heaps of medication that caused sleeplessness and shakiness. I felt like I was pumped full of adrenaline and despite feeling tired, it was hard to sleep.

I earnestly desired to read God's word. This morning I read Psalm 42 which reminded me of how I felt at this time:

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirts for God, the living God. Where can I go and meet with God?"

About six weeks after my stroke, out of the blue, a friend who has had chronic fatigue since 1989 called me. She wanted to know how I was. We hadn't spoken in over a year, and the day before, while she was doing online shopping at Koorong books, she felt like God was telling her to buy me this book called "God's Psychiatry" by Charles L Allen. She couldn't work out why on earth I would need or even want a book like this.

When she heard how I was, she said, "now I know why God was telling me to buy you that book." She then said "Sarah, you know your favourite Psalm is Psalm 23, well, God is telling you that it is time to lie down and rest. I am going to send you a copy of this book - it contains a series of devotions on Psalm 23 - I think you will find it helpful."

For the next six weeks, I read Psalm 23 every day. I memorised it and pondered its words and let the kernels of its truth feed me. It was an amazing and eye opening experience. I discovered that taking time to read God's word slowly and savouring its truth was what fed my soul. In fact, as David wrote in this Psalm "He restores my soul" - I discovered the reality of this.

I was asked to write a devotion for a book called "devotions for ministry women". This is what I wrote:

He restores my soul

Events in life can knock the stuffing right out of us. Our inner being gets worn down and we lose our zest for life, a bit like an orange that's been juiced, leaving a discarded skin. These words "He restores my soul" are a wonderful reminder that the Lord, the Great Shepherd, is the one who revives us and makes us whole again.

In Psalm 23, David uses the image of a shepherd caring for his sheep to describe the relationship he has with God. The shepherd is everything to his sheep - their guide, provider and protector.

I have been thinking about how my Shepherd restores my soul when I am downcast and crushed in spirit. In recent years there have been many occasions when I've felt like that empty orange peel as we watched friends face tragedies in their lives and more recently as I recovered from a life-changing illness. Reading God's word has revivied me time after time.

Can I encourage you to open your Bible when your spirit feels crushed, and feed on his marvellous word - it will nourish and restore your soul. Turn to the words of Psalm 23 and remind yourself that in Jesus you indeed have a shepherd who will lead you beside still waters, who is with you when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death - his rod and staff will comfort and protect you. Remember that one day we shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Prayer: "My Lord, thank you that you are my Good Shepherd. Thank you that you walk with me and that when my spirit is crushed and I am downcast, you are the restorer of my soul. Help me to remember that you laid down your life for me and that one day I shall dwell in your house forever." Amen.

Today, I am reminded once again of the importance of this deep truth.