He Restores my Soul

Fifteen months ago, I had a mild stroke which changed the nature of my life significantly. One aspect that changed was my ability to read the bible. I was on heaps of medication that caused sleeplessness and shakiness. I felt like I was pumped full of adrenaline and despite feeling tired, it was hard to sleep.

I earnestly desired to read God's word. This morning I read Psalm 42 which reminded me of how I felt at this time:

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirts for God, the living God. Where can I go and meet with God?"

About six weeks after my stroke, out of the blue, a friend who has had chronic fatigue since 1989 called me. She wanted to know how I was. We hadn't spoken in over a year, and the day before, while she was doing online shopping at Koorong books, she felt like God was telling her to buy me this book called "God's Psychiatry" by Charles L Allen. She couldn't work out why on earth I would need or even want a book like this.

When she heard how I was, she said, "now I know why God was telling me to buy you that book." She then said "Sarah, you know your favourite Psalm is Psalm 23, well, God is telling you that it is time to lie down and rest. I am going to send you a copy of this book - it contains a series of devotions on Psalm 23 - I think you will find it helpful."

For the next six weeks, I read Psalm 23 every day. I memorised it and pondered its words and let the kernels of its truth feed me. It was an amazing and eye opening experience. I discovered that taking time to read God's word slowly and savouring its truth was what fed my soul. In fact, as David wrote in this Psalm "He restores my soul" - I discovered the reality of this.

I was asked to write a devotion for a book called "devotions for ministry women". This is what I wrote:

He restores my soul

Events in life can knock the stuffing right out of us. Our inner being gets worn down and we lose our zest for life, a bit like an orange that's been juiced, leaving a discarded skin. These words "He restores my soul" are a wonderful reminder that the Lord, the Great Shepherd, is the one who revives us and makes us whole again.

In Psalm 23, David uses the image of a shepherd caring for his sheep to describe the relationship he has with God. The shepherd is everything to his sheep - their guide, provider and protector.

I have been thinking about how my Shepherd restores my soul when I am downcast and crushed in spirit. In recent years there have been many occasions when I've felt like that empty orange peel as we watched friends face tragedies in their lives and more recently as I recovered from a life-changing illness. Reading God's word has revivied me time after time.

Can I encourage you to open your Bible when your spirit feels crushed, and feed on his marvellous word - it will nourish and restore your soul. Turn to the words of Psalm 23 and remind yourself that in Jesus you indeed have a shepherd who will lead you beside still waters, who is with you when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death - his rod and staff will comfort and protect you. Remember that one day we shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Prayer: "My Lord, thank you that you are my Good Shepherd. Thank you that you walk with me and that when my spirit is crushed and I am downcast, you are the restorer of my soul. Help me to remember that you laid down your life for me and that one day I shall dwell in your house forever." Amen.

Today, I am reminded once again of the importance of this deep truth.