I live with three young adults, so it is not surprising that our conversations regularly return to matters of the heart. A few weeks ago, I had an interesting conversation with my son Johnny who is sixteen. We had just been to a wedding for a dear family friend. The couple were clearly in love and happiness poured out of every bit of them. Johnny asked me about this "flame" and what happened to it. From his observations it seems to disappear from marriages.
At the time, we were looking after his young cousins who are 18 months and almost four while their mother had been rushed to hospital in an ambulance after a severe epileptic fit. We were bathing both children, feeding them and putting them to bed. In my head, my immediate response was "life" - life happens and often it sucks the flame out of couples as they struggle to survive the pressures of surviving the experiences of life that come their way. I didn't say this, but we talked about love, marriage and romance, but the question remained with me.
In the lead up to Valentine's Day, our family had many discussions about love over dinner. Johnny told us that he thought that one of Shakespeare's sonnets would be perfect for sharing with someone you loved. Much to our surprise, he mentioned one in particular. I was not familiar with this particular sonnet, but it aroused my curiosity. It must have aroused our house guest James' curiosity also, as he went out and purchased the Penguin complete edition of Shakespeare's sonnets. We all read the sonnet that Johnny had mentioned - it was indeed beautiful and filled with passion and desire. James returned home for the weekend and spent his seven hour train trip reading this collection of sonnets. I went out in search for our own copy of this collection.
I have to confess, but I adore romantic comedies - much to the amusement of my family. "You've Got Mail", "In her Shoes","Sleepless in Seattle" "When Harry met Sally" and "Love Actually" are all favourites - I have them all on DVD and regularly watch them again and again. I was hoping I would get to see the latest romantic comedy that is out "Valentine's Day" and even suggested it to Keith on Friday morning. He was most disinterested in the idea, so I thought that I might have to go alone. However, I had a surprise gift arrive at the door later that day, and it included a double pass to see "Valentine's Day".
I loved it. Despite its total predictability, it was fun, I laughed and enjoyed seeing it immensely. It is centred around a florist in Los Angeles. The shop is amazing - simply beautiful and there were some lovely relationships explored, as well as some not so lovely relationships. The theme of love being based on a deep friendship came through. After the movie, Keith and I had dinner and then it was time to go home. The heavens had opened and we had no umbrella and quite a walk to our car.
I removed my shoes, and together we ran, laughing, down Norton Street towards our car. We bought a $10 umbrella, but even this failed to keep us dry. We were completely drenched by the time we reached the car, but neither of us minded one bit - it had been a fun little interlude. I had been tempted to join a group of teenage girls dancing in the rain in the Forum, but decided that I was perhaps a little old.
I have purchased two books which might keep love in the air Shakespeare on Love edited by CN Edwards and Penguin's Poems for Love selected by Laura Barber - this includes one of my very favourite poems by EE Cummings "I carry your heart with me".
Valentine's Day is over for another year, but I suspect that conversations about love will continue in our household. There is a challenge to have a marriage that doesn't lose the flame. Song of Songs was not written just for the newly married. It is a book for all married couples - it is filled with desire, passion, love and there is that flame that Johnny saw.
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